Sit-and-Share Topics : Admirable Friends & Fellowship (Kalyāna-mittatā)

Sample topics for contemplation

Admirable Friendship
Spiritual Fellowship
Noble Companions

The following topics and themes are just to get you started…

As well as considering the dark side – if any – of these topics and how they may have brought suffering into our lives; it is essential to also reflect on the bright aspects that have directly affected our recovery and our being.

Admirable Friends
Don’t associate with bad friends.
Don’t associate with the low.
Associate with admirable friends.
Associate with the best.

Source: Dhammapada verses 78 translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

Good Companion
If you find a good companion,
of integrity and wisdom,
you will overcome all dangers
in joyous and caring company.

Source: Dhammapada verses 328 translated by Ajahn Munindo

The value of good friendship

Particularly critical to our spiritual progress is our selection of friends and companions, who can have the most decisive impact upon our personal destiny. It is because he perceived how susceptible our minds can be to the influence of our companions that the Buddha repeatedly stressed the value of good friendship (kalyanamittata) in the spiritual life.

Source: “Association with the Wise”, by Bhikkhu Bodhi. Access to Insight, 5 June 2010,

Good friendship in Buddhism

Good friendship, in Buddhism, means considerably more than associating with people that one finds amenable and who share one’s interests. It means in effect seeking out wise companions to whom one can look for guidance and instruction.

Source: “Association with the Wise”, by Bhikkhu Bodhi. Access to Insight, 5 June 2010,

The task of the noble friend

The task of the noble friend is not only to provide companionship in the treading of the way. The truly wise and compassionate friend is one who, with understanding and sympathy of heart, is ready to criticize and admonish, to point out one’s faults, to exhort and encourage, perceiving that the final end of such friendship is growth in the Dhamma.

Source: “Association with the Wise”, by Bhikkhu Bodhi. Access to Insight, 5 June 2010,

A Good Friend

“A good friend is someone who helps us diminish our negative tendencies and increase our positive qualities. If we are fortunate enough to associate with people like this, we should deeply appreciate them. Just as it is important to avoid bad company, it is even more important to rely on virtuous friends. A genuine friend gives spiritual guidance and is most important for following the bodhisattva path.” (Pages 75 – 76)

Source: Ringu Tulku, ‘Daring Steps Toward Fearlessness – The Three Vehicles of Buddhism

Related Pages:

‘Sit-and-Share’ Topics for Contemplation and Sharing

Truth, Karma and Commitment to Recovery

Generosity in thought, words and deeds

Ethics (All or individual Precepts or Harmlessness-Blamelessness)

Loving-kindness, Compassion, Joy-gladness and Equanimity


Mindfulness and Meditation

Admirable Friends & Fellowship

Buddhist Core Principles & Themes